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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Brave? Yikes!




OK, so as you know I've been going through an identity crisis...trying to figure out who I am and where my head is and yada, yada, yada. So today I talked to my two attorneys who facilitated my divorce (the first one) to find out the process for getting my name changed. Because, no matter how much I thought I needed to keep the name as a reminder of my ordeal so I'd never make such a colossol error in judgment again, I realize now that being Kellie Hernandez is not working for me. Turns out...I don't need the freakin' reminder. The process involves filling out a form, paying a small fee and attending a hearing to explain to a judge why I want to change my name. I can handle that. I need to do whatever it takes to get myself back and that includes getting rid of all things Hernandez.
Speaking of Hernandez...I just want to say one thing about him and then move on...I learned yesterday that he has chosen his next victim: A supposedly sweet, middle-aged woman with a teenage son who lives in eastern Louisiana. He met her online and is currently wooing her into his web. I discovered her identity, reached out to her via Facebook and warned her about what she's facing. She did not respond to me but rather contacted Oscar immediately and told him I'd messaged her. The fact that she did not respond to me and went straight to him tells me she is already under his spell and not able or willing to listen to reason. Of course, a year ago this time I wasn't listening to reason either so who am I to judge? All I can hope for on her behalf is that at some point when she starts to feel like her mind is no longer her own, she'll remember my message and get help and get out. I hope it's before all of her money is gone and she's sold her home and quit her job. And I hope she protects her son. I feel so sad for her and knowing what her future holds has caused a setback for me emotionally, but I'm trying to get myself together. Like me, she is a grown woman and she will have to learn the lesson herself. Good luck, Dixie...you're going to need it.
I found myself a part-time job that is sort of a soul-crusher but I know it's only temporary so I have to hang in there until either something better materializes or I finally just say, SCREW IT!, and run off in my Jeep to live the gypsy life, because I'm 99% certain that's what I'm gonna do when Tom graduates next year. I am a true Sagittarian and a gypsy at heart so I may as well prepare to embrace the nomadic life that I know is gunning for me. It's inevitable. I'm quite certain that sometime within the next two years I will be living in my Jeep (I hope it hangs in there with me. I do take good care of it, the ordeal it went through in Texas last year notwithstanding) out on the open road probably heading west. I'd rather make the choice on my own to become a true gypsy than to have it thrust upon me by circumstance...kinda like...to use a baseball metaphor...striking out swinging rather than striking out standing still watching the ball zing past my face into the catcher's mitt. But I'm gonna need to be brave and courage is something I've never had much of, Marine Corps boot camp and childbirth three times notwithstanding (I used that word twice now). Somewhere Colbie Caillat is singing that she wants to see me be brave. Well, OK, Colbie...I'm gonna work on that. I've got time. I can be brave...can't I? Until next time...
KH soon to be KT again

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