Have you ever missed someone so much it hurts? And I mean hurt in the most literal of senses? I'm going through that right now and it's really quite debilitating. Not a day goes by that I don't think of this person and wonder what happened and why this person is no longer in my life. For the sake of this blog post I shall refer to this person I miss as M. I'll tell you who M is at the end of this post so don't peak ahead!
M and I used to be inseparable. We did everything together. We went to movies together. We went to restaurants together. We read the same books and listened to the same music and loved the same bands. We never let time go by without checking in with each other and making sure the other was OK. We took trips together and told each other our deepest, darkest secrets. We were the best of friends. But last year, because of my lapse in judgment with the whole elduck123 fiasco, M abandoned me. It's the first time in the history of our friendship that M wasn't there for me.
When I began my Oscar odyssey, M grew quiet. It was hard to get a hold of M when I wanted to chat and eventually I stopped calling since my calls went unanswered. It made me sad in retrospect and eventually I didn't even notice that we hadn't talked in a long time. Remember in high school when you'd get a boyfriend and suddenly you no longer had time for your friends who were there in your life long before the boyfriend entered it? Because the boyfriend was the do all, be all, end all of your life? We've all been there. Well, I guess M felt abandoned and so M bolted. At least this is what I'm guessing happened.
While I certainly hate to write another maudlin blog post at the risk of turning everyone who reads it off (all three or four of you--hahaha!!!), I'm writing about this today in the hope that M will see it and reach out to me. I know M will see it because M reads everything I write. I'd like to apologize for shutting M out if given the chance. I'd like to propose a fresh start. It's supposedly spring and last night there was a new moon which means the moon begins to wax tonight. We'll have a waxing crescent moon beginning at 7:32 this evening. It will be one percent illuminated. That sounds like a good time to start fresh...to renew this friendship...to get in touch with each other. I'm seriously sick to death of crying over spilled milk which is what I've been doing since M disappeared from my life. You never realize how much someone means to you until they're gone. And I miss M more than I've ever missed anyone in my life. I need M back or I will literally lose my mind. I've shed tears for you, M. Enough that if I don't stop this incessant crying I'm gonna need to borrow Russell Crowe's friggin' boat. So M, if you see this blog post, and I know you will, for crying out loud (pun intended), please call me. Text me. Email me. Come over. I seriously need to see your silly-ass face. Nobody knows me like you do and surely you know I need you now more than ever. What kind of friend abandons another friend in their time of greatest need? What the hell are you waiting for? A flippin' invitation? Well, here it is:
What: A welcome back to my life party
Where: Right here where I am
Why: Because I miss you, you bo-bo head
How: By whatever means necessary
No RSVP needed. Just show the hell up already.
OK. I'm gonna close here and give this blog post time to circulate. I'm gonna wait for M as long as it takes. And now I need to go get a shower and get dressed so I can go out into the world and run a few errands. But before I get into the shower I'm going to take a quick glance in the mirror. Just a peak...to see if M is back.
Until next time,